New Phone Policy

The old and now newly enforced policy of no phones I find very unnecessary.  I usually do not use my phone a lot, however, the policy is obnoxious.  First off, I do not understand the no phones in the hallway rule.  I see no problem with students using their cell phones in between classes.  There is no threat of injury we are not hurting anybody and we are not in a classroom environment.  Secondly, the bathroom policy is absolutely irrelevant and unnecessary.  Why is that a problem?  The bathroom is a private place.  It is illegal to put cameras in the bathroom for that very reason, so I find it unlikely that the students that do use phones in the bathroom will stop because of the new policy.  I do understand the no phones in the classroom unless used for school purposes, however, the other two components of the policy I do not understand.  We are on a college campus and we are always told to behave like college students, but we deserve to be treated as such as well.  I doubt that the newly enforced policy will completely stop cell phone usage.  I know that my opinion on this subject may not change anything but I needed to express it.

Magical Smartphone

If I purchased a magical smartphone there are some apps that I feel should already be on the phone, since it is a magical smartphone there are a lot of app possibilities.  There are two apps that I think that should come mandatory.  One app is an app that allows you to make food appear out of thin air whenever you please.  The way it would work is I would describe the food I want and take a picture of the place I would like the food the appear and boom I have food.  The second and final app that I think should come mandatory is a teleportation app.  This app would allow me to transport myself or a group to any destination in the world; to any city, state, country or continent.  Personally, the teleportation app would be my favorite and most used.  

My Resturant

If I opened my own restaurant the name would be Thank God It's Not Monday; it would be closed on Mondays.  Thank God It's Not Monday would have a variety of dishes, however, the main ingredient in the dishes would be chicken.  The special dish on the menu would be called Stacks on Stacks.  First thing on the plate is a waffle followed by a boneless chicken breast covered on barbecue sauce followed by another waffle.  Next, there would be diced chicken strips mixed in with Mac n Cheese topped with a waffle slice.  Now i would add a splash of Asian food on there which would be chicken and rice with cooked veggies and smothered in soy sauce again topped with a waffle.  Next part of the dish is chicken and gravy between two waffles. The final component of Stacks on Stacks is lots and lots of syrup so that a pond forms on the bottom of the plate.  

Comforting Things

Whenever I have a stressful day or I just need to relax there are a few ways I do so.  The first thing that comforts me is music, especially music from my favorite artists.  The melodies and vocals are really soothing and calming, which is perfect for relaxing.  Some of those artists include Fifth Harmony, Ed Sheeran, Taylor Swift, and Ariana Grande.  Another thing that comforts me is playing basketball.  Basketball is my favorite sport and I really enjoy playing.  It is sort of a mindless activity to just shoot around so it lets me think and enjoy the fresh air.  Going for a bike ride while listening to music also is comforting.  There are some biking trails down the road from my house that go through the woods and around a pond.  Finally, the last thing that comforts me is watching YouTube.  I don't know, but for some reason YouTube comforts me.  I usually laugh and enjoy what I watch so it makes my day a little better.    

"My Name"

My name Damian Michael Bauer
was decided in the last hour
before my birth
but it does give me worth

Damian is derived from Greek and means to tame
I must say I enjoy my first name
named after Saint Damian, who was a Patron of Physicians
he has great recognition

I was not named after Batman's son
who was his only one
or Damian Lilliard the basketball star
he is pretty cool but I am a superstar

People named Damian are pretty awesome
they are surely not loathsome
My name has some traits to behold
sweet, friendly, patient, candid, and bold

It is sorta weird how accurate those are
I find it bizarre
My name defines me to a tee
any other name would have just been blasphemy

I think my name is as good as Fifth Harmony
that comparison was not easy
My name is sweet candy
isn't that just dandy

Wait What? ALIENS!

I have just discovered evidence which is 100 percent accurate that states everyone is an alien.  With this newly inquired information my day tomorrow should be interesting.  Knowing everyone besides me is an alien obviously makes me worried and has induced fear.  However, as far as I know they are still oblivious to the fact that I know.  With that being said I am going to try and act as normal as possible.  It is going to be difficult to wake up and act like I would on any other day knowing my parents and friends are aliens.  All this time they have been aliens and I have never even sensed it or suspected it.  Why would I suspect it?  They have always taken care of me and never harmed me in anyway.  All I can do for now is act normal and find out how I got here on this planet with a bunch of aliens.    

Grossest Food....YUCK

The grossest drink or food I have ever consumed would have to be Tilapia.  If one has never had the displeasure of tasting this horrendous fish then they should count themselves lucky!  I feel as if it is my obligation to inform people of the taste that will fill their mouths when they taste tilapia.  First, take a freshly caught fish straight out of the ocean on put it in a pan.  Do not prepare the fish in anyway just leave it the way that it was caught.  Next, go to the restroom and fill a cup full of toilet water.  Then go and add the toilet water in to the pan alongside the fish. Finally, add salt to the already salty fish and saute that bad boy.  However, do not saute till fully cooked make sure it is under cooked slightly.  When all of the previous steps have been accomplished take a bite and that is what Tilapia tastes like.